Monthly Archives: July 2009

Under new management – SOOOoooo

New managementUnder new management. I bet you have seen a sign on a business stating that they have new leadership.  As you know from my past posts about quirky and funny signs, I am always on the lookout for these items.

Recently, I have seen a couple of businesses that proclaimed that they were “Under New Management.” As I remember, one was a fast food location and the other was a liquor store.

 My question is… Why do I care?  They spent money to tell the world they have a “changing of the guard” but what’s in it for me? 

 Why not put up a sign that tells about new products in stock, new menu items, cleaner restrooms or a big discount.  This might make me stop more that the fact that the faces at the top have changed.

Wouldn’t it be more effective to sell me on what you are doing differently?  Make me want to come in and shop.  I darn sure don’t just want to stop by to shake hands with the “new management.”

What do you think?

Motto or slogan Which is it?

Motto  Coin  Kevin Dooley Motto or slogan? These two terms have confused me for quite some time. I have trouble telling the difference. Doing some research may have helped. A motto (with origins in the Italian language for pledge) is meant to describe the general motivation or intention of a group. It shows the spirit or purpose of the person or group. It also can be an expression of the guiding principle of a person, group, city, or other organization. Did you know the motto of Colorado is “Nil Sine Numine” which means “Nothing without the Deity.” (So much for separation of church and state)

The state’s slogan seems to be “Colorful Colorado”, or at least this used to appear on the license plates. It’s hard to do better than the city of Austin,TX with its motto of “Keep Austin Weird.” Others I found under business mottos are ones you have heard a lot: Nike Just do it McDonald’s I’m lovin’ it

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Oxymoron–more examples

Oxymoron exampleOxymorons really do intrigue me. My earlier post  on oxymorons got some good responses.  While cleaning up around my desk (my home office…ooops—oxymoron), I found some more that I used when I was teaching a college writing course.

How about alone together?

I’m confused. 

How can someone be clearly confused?

Don’t they use this one for things they sell on TV?  “Genuine imitations….”

I like intense apathy.  Once, I heard a place described as a “hotbed of apathy.”

Have you used plastic silverware or had a drink from a plastic glass?

 Here are a few for the cynics.

Marital bliss, holy war, educational television and corporate conscience.

 Have more?

Shutters make me shudder

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I hate shutters. Well, I guess I strongly dislike them. I am talking about the things that hang on the side of the house next to the windows. Being a word person, I guess I should say that the term shutter is a homonym. It sounds the same, but has a different spelling than shudder.

Recently, I have been taking a couple of 20 minutes strolls around the neighborhood most days. (If my cardiologist or exercise nurse sees this, by that I mean EVERY day)

Anyway, I walk through our neighborhood, and can’t help seeing all the houses and their designs Many have what could be loosely called shutters. For the most part, these wooden slats are not functional. First of all, they are nailed to the side of the house. They couldn’t be swung shut to protect the windows if they had to be. Many are about a quarter of the size of the window, so even if they did try to serve their original function, it would be futile. I think a better name for these unless hanging appendages would be color accents. They are always a different color than the siding, stucco or brick of the home. Why don’t people just paint a contrasting stripe of color on each side of the windows, and call it even?

For the record, if you go past my house, you will see NO shutters.

Thanks to all who have helped me

freefoto   American flagSalutes to all on this patriotic day.  I have decided not to do a “regular” post about humor in works.  Instead, I will thank some people.  That is always risky since it is so easy to forget someone.  In the past, I have acknowledged many in Twitter Friday Follows.  Also, I do appreciate those that re-tweet my words. 

Today, I will say thanks to some people I know personally, and some I do not.  This list comes from the stats that are amassed everyday about where people find your blog. 

In all my reading, the generally accepted mindset is to comment on other people’s blogs.  I have done this, and it paid off.  Also posting my topics and funny bumper stickers has driven traffic to me too. 

Ok, so here are some of the sources that have send people to my blog. 

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I’m with stupid

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Tom Hanks as Forest Gump probably said it best.  “Stupid is as stupid does.”

Gump was not very politically correct it seems.  He should have used a euphemism to describe stupid or dumb. 

I may do multiple posts on various aspects of euphemisms but today let’s look at ones relating to how to describe someone who is not very smart. 

Most people know some of the common ones like “a few bricks short of a load”, “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” and not the brightest light bulb.  Closely tied to that is “The lights are on but no one is home.” 

There are many more creative euphemisms that relate to the subject. 

Beer seems to be popular with “a beer short of a six-pack” and “all foam, no beer.” 

In the food category, we have the favorite, “a few fries short of a Happy Meal.”  One that was new to me is “a few peas short of a casserole.”
Then there is a grouping around media.  You could say someone “thinks multimedia means having more than one TV.”  Try “his antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.”  I like “At least one Brady short of a Bunch” and “One Gilligan short of an island.”  (If you are younger, ask your parents about these two.) 

A few more”  “A few clowns short of a circus”, Twelve shy of a dozen”, “As sharp as two pounds of wet leather”, “Takes him 1 ½ hours to watch 60 Minutes” and “The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.”

What are some others?